Is it possible for children to remember their lives as babies? I don't mean remembering specific things, like a trip to the zoo or a birthday party, but feelings or senses? Here's the poop: LPT has become increasingly clingy over the past few weeks. So much so that she's actually stressed out when I'm not around, or if I am around, not next to her or holding her. She whines, cries at the drop of a hat, and becomes a different person. Now, I know what's causing this on the surface ( I think): I'm going to Mexico in March with two of my parents and my sister and brother-in-law. D isn't going, mostly due to his crippling fear of flying. So the kids will stay with him for the 5 days that I am gone. This isn't the first time I have traveled without LPT, but it is the first time she'll stay for multiple consecutive days with her dad, in our house, with all my stuff but without me. I'm pretty sure that this is what is eating away at her.

But my mother (bless her heart) can't leave it at that, no, she has to dig deeper! She ties in how I interact with Midget 2.0 versus how I was with LPT, and how LPT watches and observes how I look at M2.0, and frequently asks if I looked at her that way when she was a baby? Now, the crappy part of all this is that LPT could, conceivably, have reason to feel slighted due to a major case of PPD I had shortly after she was born. Also, the life that D and I were etching out nearly crumbled a few times, which (obviously) caused a lot of stress. And I hate that my little girl was around and subjected to environments that weren't nice. And yes, there are and always will be significant (overwhelming?) amounts of guilt on my part, even though I got help and I'm doing just fine and dandy now. And my mother (interior designer by trade and training, psycologist and doctor by will) thinks that this is just now causing problems, causing LPT's insecurity. And there's just enough guilt on my part to indulge her, and now I don't know what to do. Do I not go to Mexico? Do I sit LPT down, all of 4 and a half years old, and explain that Mommy was really sad after she was born, but things are better now? Do I accommodate the clinginess and let her be by my side constantly? Or do I let her know that I'm here now, will always come back for her, and that she's completely safe? And how do I do that without freaking her out more? And speaking of freaking her out, how do I get my mother to stop talking about it?

Oy. I need more coffee.

Lil' Puddin' Tater loves to change things. Her clothes, furniture arrangement, hairstyle, etc. (and which parent bestowed that? hmmm...) Occasionally, she gets a wild hair (no pun intended) and decides to take care of things herself, if the powers that be are moving too slowly for her liking. Case in point: on Sunday afternoon, D caught her in the office/sewing room with my scissors and shards of orange corduroy. The rule in the house with the blue door is that LPT isn't allowed to even approach the sewing area without prior explicit permission, and even then she must have an objective - she's not allowed to pereuse and see what she might enjoy destroying. So we had a chat and I refreshed her memory regarding the rules (and she's damn lucky it was some old scraps she was cutting - there have been other times when she decided to cut the shoulder out of a dress I needed to hem, for example.)

The next morning as I was putting her hair into a ponytail, I noticed that she had a few shorter stray pieces of hair near her face. Truthfully, I didn't think anything of it. However, when I went to pick her up from my mother's house later that day, Mom pointed out that the front half of her hair had approximately three inches taken from each side, and her those portions were now in the area of her chin. (I use the word approximately because the left side is longer than the right.) So I asked her, "LPT, did you cut your hair the other day in the office with Mommy's scissors?" And she responded with, "Yeah mom [duh implied], I wanted it just a little bit shorter. It was in my way."

So today, we're going to have the other half (the back) cut to match the front, and hopefully have the shorter pieces blended in.

And I told her that if she ever does that again, we're totally shaving her head.

Man, I'm doing a bang-up job of keeping this blog going, aren't I? My apologies. I've grown unaccustomed to updating daily.

Anyhoo, since the 29th of December, we've had a New Year's Eve party where I had the wonderful pleasure of ringing in 2009 with those I hold most dear. And my husband. [bah-dum ching!] Kidding - shortly after the party (on 3 January, to be exact) D and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Five years and all we have to show for it are two midgets and a messy house. :)

At the party on New Year's Eve, Lil' Puddin' Tater begged me to stay up to see the ball drop. And she didn't nod off even once! She's quite the hostess, and stayed up until 2 a.m. to see everyone off. We negotiated with her after that, and she was allowed to sleep in our bed with us as long as she promised to stay in bed until at least 10 the next morning. But at 8:30, she was up, and yelling for us to wake up, too. Damned kids and their desire for breakfast.

Monday morning, I took (and passed!) the exam to get my license to sell life & health insurance. And really, I don't know how much selling I'll be doing, but this enables me to legally answer questions about the products marketed here at IBP. So I'll really just be doing what I've always done, except I'll no longer be breaking the law. Yay for me!

Thursday, D and I will be going to dinner in honor of the aforementioned anniversary and then going out with some friends to see a movie. It will probably be a scary one and I'll probably scream. After that, on Saturday night, comes the REALLY fun part. Thank goodness for P's birthday!

As far as Midget 2.0 is concerned, things have been somewhat tame. He's gotten another tooth (on the top, this time) and enjoys above all sneezing while eating a banana, and spraying me with goo. Oh, and he likes to eat LPT's toys. There is much screaming on her part.